Super Bowl Party for Dummies: 10 Ways Not to Be THAT GUY

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It’s Super Bowl week so we want to have a little fun here at The Cover 4.

We all know someone who is going to be “that guy” at your Super Bowl party this weekend. Is that going to be you or is it one of your buddies? Regardless, here are the 10 ways to avoid being THAT GUY this weekend.

1. Don’t Show Up Empty Handed

– Don’t break this rule! People spend plenty of hours making food so that you can enjoy the party. Don’t be the guy who shows up empty handed and expects to eat and drink everything. Also, bringing a bag of $.99 chips or a 1-liter drink from 7-11 doesn’t count. Let’s be real here! Pull your weight buddy.

2. Don’t Wear a Jersey of Your Favorite Team

– Believe it or not, but the season is over for your team. Don’t be the guy who shows up to the Ravens vs. 49ers Super Bowl party rocking his San Diego Charger jersey; save that jersey for the Pro Bowl dude… (oh wait, no one from the Chargers was chosen!). This is a game where the winners of the season get to wear their jerseys in pride, don’t rain on their parade.

3. Don’t Be the Guy Who Talks During Commercials

– This is the biggest commercial day of the year. Companies are paying millions of dollars for 30 seconds of air time so we are expecting to see the best of the best commercials. Don’t be the guy who talks during them. We all have the friend who has to give their input after every commercial. Relax killer and watch the commercials!

4. Don’t Be the Guy Who Talks About His Football Past

– Get over it Uncle Rico. We don’t care about your high school all-star past or your “tremendous” college career as a back-up. The glory days are over. Don’t let watching the Super Bowl bring back your glory days.

5. Don’t Be The Sports Book Guy

– We all know you spent $1000 at the sports book this weekend judging by the 45 tickets you have in your hand. We don’t care that you have every scenario from the coin flip to the game-winning field goal. Don’t be the guy screaming to throw the ball to Dennis Pitta because you need the over on his three catches for the game or the guy screaming for a turnover because you picked the over on the fumbles. Keep it to yourself because we don’t need a play by play.

6. Don’t Try to Act Like You Know More Than You Really Do

– Yup, it is true. We all know the guy who screams for Matt Ryan’s release or trade after an interception. “Oh my, Matt Ryan, you are so terrible! Next year we are going to trade Ryan for Andrew Luck.” Don’t be that guy who continues to act like he knows football more than he really does.

7. Don’t Drink All The Beer (And Be Out of Hand)

– We all know the friend who — in connection with Rule 1 — shows up empty handed (or with a measly six-pack of junk beer) and is drinking the beer at a torrid pace. Bro, you can’t drink all those beers if you didn’t supply some for the rest of us. It is almost kickoff and you’re seven deep. COME ON MAN! On the tail end, don’t be the belligerent idiot who is blacking out before half-time. We don’t want you stumbling around here. Be an adult and hold your liquor.

8. Don’t Act Like You Should Be The Coach

-“Call timeout! Call timeout! What are you doing? A run on 3rd and 2 with Frank Gore? I woulda thrown the bomb to Randy Moss down the sideline for an easy touchdown.” Do us all a favor and shut your mouth. You are a college student/entry businessman/hotel agent/etc. essentially everything but a coach. Sit down and let the coaches do their job buddy. Just because you play a lot of Madden and NCAA doesn’t mean you know what you are talking about.

9. Don’t Be Mr. Bandwagon

– Nothing is worse than the guy who just jumped on the bandwagon, especially when he rolls in with his brand new jersey or t-shirt. “Yeah man, my mom is from there. I’ve been a fan of the team since I was a little kid”. Do us all a favor and go watch the game somewhere else. Oh, we all know they exist because my Twitter and Facebook feeds are blowing up with some people who I didn’t even know liked the sport.

10. Let the Commentators Commentate

– Nothing is worse than the guy who tries to be one step ahead of the commentators. Oh man, let the professionals do their jobs because the rest of us want to watch and listen to the game. Don’t be the guy who continues to yell and scream about what is happening. Newsflash, we are all watching and listening to the same game my man.

BONUS: No Crying When Your Team Wins/Loses

– At the end of the day, someone’s team is winning and someone’s is losing. As a result, crying is possible from both sides. Don’t be the guy whose team wins and you are crying like you just won the lottery; dude, life goes on. Just relax! The players and team don’t even know you exist, so you can chill out a little. As for the crying loser, don’t go and drink a ton of beers and/or throw things around because your team lost. I remember my team’s first Super Bowl loss…

 

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James Kaikis
Chief Sports Activist for The Cover 4
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Colin Kaepernick is a Game Changer

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History will tell you that a new-age “running quarterback” can’t carry a team to the Super Bowl. Experts and critics will tell you that the read-option offense is a college gimmick that won’t work in the NFL where the athletes are better and defenses are more sophisticated.

Don’t tell Colin Kaepernick and the 49ers that.

The second-year quarterback has defied all odds and silenced every critic during the Niners’ march to the Super Bowl. After taking over for Alex Smith earlier in the season after Smith sustained a concussion against the Rams, Kaepernick took advantage of the opportunity and earned the starting nod over Smith even when the former No. 1 overall pick was cleared to play. Smith is not a Pro Bowl caliber player by any stretch of the imagination, but for a second-year quarterback to replace a healthy established starter who was playing well is a gamble.

Jim Harbaugh knew what he was doing. He drafted Kaepernick in the second round after a stellar career at the University of Nevada where Kaepernick ran Chris Ault’s pistol offense to perfection. Anyone who followed WAC football knew Kaepernick had potential. He had a good arm, great speed, great character and hid the ball as well as any quarterback in the nation on play-action read options.

Kaepernick is the first of the new breed of quarterbacks to truly shine. Michael Vick, Cam Newton and even Tim Tebow have all shown flashes of potential. Russell Wilson and Robert Griffin III led their teams to the playoffs as rookies and got more national attention throughout the season. None of them have done what Kaepernick has. Yes, the Niners’ defense is one of the best in the league. Don’t let that fool you; this team would not be in the Super Bowl if it wasn’t for Kaepernick. He does more than simply manage the game: he dictates and controls it.

Harbaugh is not afraid to give Kaepernick the keys to the car. There is nothing Kaepernick can’t do. He’s accurate, he can throw the deep ball, he can throw in traffic and when all else fails he can break the pressure and scramble outside the pocket to extend the play. Most importantly, he is smart and makes great decisions almost every play. The read-option is not easy, especially with the speed of the game in the NFL. One bad decision could get you or your running back knocked out. Instead, Kaepernick keeps defenses guessing, while he and Frank Gore run for big gain after big gain.

The Niners’ offense has been set up to give defenses fits. The Ravens love to rush the passer off the edge with the likes of Terrell Suggs and Paul Kruger. In the Super Bowl, the Ravens will have to find a way put pressure on Kaepernick while keeping contain on the outside. If the Ravens decide to stack the box and go to single coverage, the Niners have the weapons to make any defense pay with Vernon Davis, Delanie Walker, Randy Moss and Michael Crabtree. If they choose to drop more men in coverage, the Niners can let Kaepernick, Gore and LaMichael James loose through their potent running attack. Pick your poison, Ravens.

None of this would be possible if Alex Smith was under center. Yes, Kaepernick still has his flaws and is not great at taking snaps from under center, which was a significant red flag when he came out of college. However, the risk for the Niners is worth the reward. He brings such a different dynamic to their offense that there is no question he is the best choice. The Niners were a good team with Smith, they are great with Kaepernick. At the time it looked like a risk; no one is questioning  Harbaugh now.

If Kaepernick and the Niners win, the impact for quarterbacks like him is huge. I guarantee it, win or lose, you will see more teams go to the read-option as their primary offense. If they win, more teams will be willing to take risks on dual-threat quarterbacks because there will be a proven recipe for success. Winning championships is paramount in any sport. Teams aren’t going to use a system that has no hope of leading to a championship.

Many of the aforementioned quarterbacks are better athletes than Kaepernick, have better arms and more impressive college credentials. None of them are the complete package like he is. He gives coaches and general managers a new mold of quarterback to look at. He is a system quarterback and that system with him running it has proven to be incredibly successful at the highest level. To win the Super Bowl against the legendary Ravens defense would be a statement for Kaepernick, Harbaugh, the Niners and the new breed of quarterbacks everywhere looking for their shot in the NFL. Victory over a defense of that stature would change the game.

Kaepernick has overcome every obstacle in his path so far. If he comes through on the game’s biggest stage, he will have gone from the backup to a legend in a matter of months. As Kaepernick’s history tells us, he thrives as the underdog and loves to prove his critics wrong. It would be unwise to bet against him this Sunday in the biggest game of his career.

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Thank you for reading The Cover 4! Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook & Twitter.

For the Fans. By the Fans. Period.

David Oleson
Sports Activist for The Cover 4
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