Super Bowl Party for Dummies: 10 Ways Not to Be THAT GUY

superbowl

It’s Super Bowl week so we want to have a little fun here at The Cover 4.

We all know someone who is going to be “that guy” at your Super Bowl party this weekend. Is that going to be you or is it one of your buddies? Regardless, here are the 10 ways to avoid being THAT GUY this weekend.

1. Don’t Show Up Empty Handed

– Don’t break this rule! People spend plenty of hours making food so that you can enjoy the party. Don’t be the guy who shows up empty handed and expects to eat and drink everything. Also, bringing a bag of $.99 chips or a 1-liter drink from 7-11 doesn’t count. Let’s be real here! Pull your weight buddy.

2. Don’t Wear a Jersey of Your Favorite Team

– Believe it or not, but the season is over for your team. Don’t be the guy who shows up to the Ravens vs. 49ers Super Bowl party rocking his San Diego Charger jersey; save that jersey for the Pro Bowl dude… (oh wait, no one from the Chargers was chosen!). This is a game where the winners of the season get to wear their jerseys in pride, don’t rain on their parade.

3. Don’t Be the Guy Who Talks During Commercials

– This is the biggest commercial day of the year. Companies are paying millions of dollars for 30 seconds of air time so we are expecting to see the best of the best commercials. Don’t be the guy who talks during them. We all have the friend who has to give their input after every commercial. Relax killer and watch the commercials!

4. Don’t Be the Guy Who Talks About His Football Past

– Get over it Uncle Rico. We don’t care about your high school all-star past or your “tremendous” college career as a back-up. The glory days are over. Don’t let watching the Super Bowl bring back your glory days.

5. Don’t Be The Sports Book Guy

– We all know you spent $1000 at the sports book this weekend judging by the 45 tickets you have in your hand. We don’t care that you have every scenario from the coin flip to the game-winning field goal. Don’t be the guy screaming to throw the ball to Dennis Pitta because you need the over on his three catches for the game or the guy screaming for a turnover because you picked the over on the fumbles. Keep it to yourself because we don’t need a play by play.

6. Don’t Try to Act Like You Know More Than You Really Do

– Yup, it is true. We all know the guy who screams for Matt Ryan’s release or trade after an interception. “Oh my, Matt Ryan, you are so terrible! Next year we are going to trade Ryan for Andrew Luck.” Don’t be that guy who continues to act like he knows football more than he really does.

7. Don’t Drink All The Beer (And Be Out of Hand)

– We all know the friend who — in connection with Rule 1 — shows up empty handed (or with a measly six-pack of junk beer) and is drinking the beer at a torrid pace. Bro, you can’t drink all those beers if you didn’t supply some for the rest of us. It is almost kickoff and you’re seven deep. COME ON MAN! On the tail end, don’t be the belligerent idiot who is blacking out before half-time. We don’t want you stumbling around here. Be an adult and hold your liquor.

8. Don’t Act Like You Should Be The Coach

-“Call timeout! Call timeout! What are you doing? A run on 3rd and 2 with Frank Gore? I woulda thrown the bomb to Randy Moss down the sideline for an easy touchdown.” Do us all a favor and shut your mouth. You are a college student/entry businessman/hotel agent/etc. essentially everything but a coach. Sit down and let the coaches do their job buddy. Just because you play a lot of Madden and NCAA doesn’t mean you know what you are talking about.

9. Don’t Be Mr. Bandwagon

– Nothing is worse than the guy who just jumped on the bandwagon, especially when he rolls in with his brand new jersey or t-shirt. “Yeah man, my mom is from there. I’ve been a fan of the team since I was a little kid”. Do us all a favor and go watch the game somewhere else. Oh, we all know they exist because my Twitter and Facebook feeds are blowing up with some people who I didn’t even know liked the sport.

10. Let the Commentators Commentate

– Nothing is worse than the guy who tries to be one step ahead of the commentators. Oh man, let the professionals do their jobs because the rest of us want to watch and listen to the game. Don’t be the guy who continues to yell and scream about what is happening. Newsflash, we are all watching and listening to the same game my man.

BONUS: No Crying When Your Team Wins/Loses

– At the end of the day, someone’s team is winning and someone’s is losing. As a result, crying is possible from both sides. Don’t be the guy whose team wins and you are crying like you just won the lottery; dude, life goes on. Just relax! The players and team don’t even know you exist, so you can chill out a little. As for the crying loser, don’t go and drink a ton of beers and/or throw things around because your team lost. I remember my team’s first Super Bowl loss…

 

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Thank you for reading The Cover 4! Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook & Twitter.

Oh yeah, tell your friends too!

James Kaikis
Chief Sports Activist for The Cover 4
http://www.facebook.com/thecover4
http://www.twitter.com/thecover4

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